Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Light And Dark Oppose One Another

There is inevitably a kind of hangover after a period of busyness and intense activity; I felt pretty tired on Monday, and I also noticed how empty the zendo was. I would have happily taken half a day off to get outside on my bike, but the weather has not been co-operative in that regard, grey and damp since the clocks went forward. And of course there are other things that require my attention, which during the busy times I postpone, thinking, oh, I'll have plenty of time to take care of that next week, and then find I have filled the week with projects, meetings and trainings.
The clock change definitely affects the feel of the schedule: now it is dark through the morning sitting, and almost to the end of service since the sun is not making an appearance, and at the other end of the day, it is light (well, grey) for the entire afternoon period.
My mood has been fluctuating a lot as well, for a number of reasons; one is that on Saturday I pulled or pinched a muscle in my back, which is not much of a problem except during service - I notice it when I bow, and it is uncomfortable to inhale deeply, which I tend to do when I am chanting. Without being able to do this, I feel flat and breathless, when usually I am energised by the activity.
In other news today, I discover that Plan B is not going to happen, which feels like a relief; I will perhaps say more about that later when things are more public. And then in work meeting this morning, since there was no-one signed up for tomorrow's way-seeking mind talk, the shika suggested that I should do one, which suggestion seemed very popular with the assembly. I have been feeling that I have avoided doing one since I came back to the city, so it would have been ungracious to decline. I am slightly worried about how to approach a few topics though (which I also avoid addressing here), but otherwise I am fairly calm about the prospect, for all that I hate speaking with a microphone. The good thing is that Lien had previously requested that I not let the talk run on too long, so that we could have time to have a skit rehearsal meeting over breakfast before she has to go off to work, so I have an excuse to be brief.
People who know me well can attest that I love playing with rocks, and this is something that has been sorely lacking since I left Tassajara - apart from brief constructions in Cornwall last year. With Marcia's undertaking the reworking of the courtyard garden, though, I had an opportunity today to move a beautiful big rock, and in concert with Will, we did what our ancestors did on a larger scale thousands of years ago, and rolled the thing across the courtyard on old wooden stakes. Thus:
Deeply satisfying it was too, though I suspect I shall be sore tomorrow. I hope we do not incur the wrath of Suzuki Roshi by rearranging what was already there.


Sandy's witterings said...

Seems a bit of stone age technology seems quite appropriate there - I'm not sure I could think a better way of doing.
There's a strange satisfaction in feeling a bit creaky after a bit of labour (not that I'm often to be found labouring) but it sounds as if you've got a twinge rather than just being a bit stiff - not so good - hope it clears up soon.

Shundo said...

Hi Sandy,

The twinge preceded the rock moving, and did not seem to be exacerbated by it - on the whole I think it is easing up. My lower back was a bit stiff after the exertion, but nothing painful, thanks.