Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Nature of a Mistake

I was recounting the story of Jamie and Hekizan at dinner yesterday, and I used the phrase 'the ino cracking the whip'. A new resident sitting on the other side of me heard that, and said she got worried hearing that phrase. We got into a discussion about mistakes. How do I deal with them? For new people, I don't mind if they make mistakes, because it's part of the learning process, but for people who know what they're doing, or say they know what they're doing, I might respond differently. This is one reason why, during the service review each morning, I always ask the person what they noticed themselves about their performance, before I say anything, as people are often completely aware of the mistakes they have made.The new resident wanted to know if experienced people made mistakes too. Well of course it happens. Is it because they don't know what they're doing? Sometimes, but people also just forget things.

This morning the doshi had forgotten her zagu (the bowing cloth) when she came to service, and had to borrow the jiko's zagu. When I was first a priest, I also had to give my zagu to a doshi who had forgotten his. This morning's doshi confessed to me at breakfast that she had been so rattled by  forgetting her zagu that she made a couple of other mistakes later in the morning...

I also heard yesterday from a friend of mine a story of going to another zen centre where someone came round to correct her hand position during zazen, in a way that she had found quite aggresive and unnecessary. I hope that I never make anyone feel that bad in the zendo here.
I know that my first instinct is to be hard on people who get things wrong, and one of the strongest parts of my practice as tenzo was not letting that instinct dictate my attitude in an interaction with someone. The energy or motivation for telling someone off can be easily put aside when you allow yourself to hear the other person first, and consider their point of view, not just your own idea of right and wrong.
So this morning, just before breakfast, I passed a resident who had slept through the morning schedule. What did I say to them? 'Good morning'. I walked away and thought I could have added 'there are savoury muffins for breakfast'.

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